In times of unmotivation

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I seriously need to start studying. I have a paper tomorrow and all I've prepared and read is one chapter of my notes! I suppose the senior syndrome is creeping in -- the totally chilled feeling whereby you don't really have the motivation to study.

So, I had a fairly simple but happy day. I had durians. Gorgeous fruits. Now, I may sound derogatory (which I did not intend to), but seriously, I think those who dislike durians are sad. And those who adore durians but that would mean that having allergies are also sad.

But I suppose loving durians is an acquired taste. =)

For pictures of the durians, check out Crystal's new blog: BURN OUT BRIGHT


Since I was quite bored, I decided to stumble through the net again. Check out some stuffs that I found! =) Just click on the pictures, they'll lead you to the websites. =)





So how're you feeling now? Wild Mood Swings has a remedy for whatever you are feeling. And when I say whatever, I mean anything besides horny-ness. So yes, if you're feeling fat, sad, confused... whatever, there's something there for you!





This website might interest people who like health. And the only person I know who likes topics about health is... Crystal. Yeah. She's the only one I know.. Hmmmm. So yeah, if you're into health stuff, go check out this website. I hope it'll help. =)





This is for Hajok. Just click start and type anything. I'll not describe further. But I think it'll be a major turn on for Hajok, our mighty President.





Last but not least, my favorite stumbled webbie of the day -- Word Shoot! Awesome game! It's something like a typing game, but this one with guns and space ships. It's not a game with super awesome graphic, it's just a simple java game. But still, I like typing games! =)





So, if you have the time. Go play this shooting game. I kinda played it for more than 10 times (when I'm supposed to be stardee-ing! Apa ni!?!)

Okay, I neeeeed to restrain myself. I need to study now. You people! ROCK ON YEAH? I got 2 more papers and off -- I'll be heading to holidaaaaaying! =)

Can't wait.

Depression

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I read what my friend, Arthur wrote:


    I have come to the conclusion that people who have been struck by a hard depression (emotionally not economically), will always have a tendency to fall back into it a lot easier than other people.

    I have this feeling that a depression never really leaves a person, it just subsides and stays in the dark for awhile waiting for the next, even the smallest things, to arise and feed its energy. That's when your head starts wandering around and your thoughts become preposterous.


This is so true. Reality, if I may.Oh, yes, and interpret what I just typed how ever you like. =)

300 Love Letters

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No. I didn't write them. I just happened to stumble through this website, which I think is extremely cool.

Check out: 300 Love Letters



Click to view larger image




COOL EH!

Oh! Oh! And what's best is... I so happened to click on one of the colors (it's light blue) and I found a letter addressed to a person named JON! HOW COINCIDENTAL!

Check out what was in the letter:





LOL. And so coincidentally, I am graduating college soon! SOON! I love the sound of that word. =)

This website is so cool la. Haha!

Is the government out of its mind?

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Upon hearing the news that from 2012 onwards "the medium of instruction for Maths and Science will revert to Bahasa Malaysia in national schools and mother-tongue languages in national-type schools" (Math and Science back to Bahasa, mother tongues, The Star), I am immensely saddened.

The choice of teaching Science and Maths in English (PPSMI) in 2003 on its own without any consideration about the capabilities of teachers in Malaysia was good. Because that way, students are being linguistically unified with the competitive world with regards to the advancements of Science and Mathematics. However, considering the capabilities of teachers, this plan isn't really an ideal plan for the betterment of education in Malaysia.

Okay, so through a few graphs provided by the Star that showed students from rural areas aren't doing so well in the two subjects in English, the government used this as a supporting detail to why the PPSMI should be abolished, that the two subjects should not be taught in English.

“The gap between rural and urban students has widened since PPSMI started. Only 19.2% of secondary teachers and 9.96% of primary teachers were sufficiently proficient in English,” Deputy Prime Minister Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin said.

Now, I have to question: If the teachers had so terrible command of English, why didn't the government equip them with the necessary skills? No wonder the students in wherever it may be didn't do well! No wonder the graphs and scales show that students aren't performing well in English as opposed to Bahasa Malaysia.

If the teachers in all their professionalism were not equipped with the proper command of English in the first place, why did the government start PPSMI? Now results show that it isn't working, why is the government scrapping it instead of seeing it through and equipping their teachers with proper command of English?

But before we continue, we have to also ask why aren't teachers who graduate from local universities aren't equipped with necessary linguistic skills. Is it because their lecturers aren't equipped too? Then who is at fault now?

"On efforts to emphasise the learning of English, the number of English teachers would be increased by 13,933 -- retirees would be hired, as well as foreigners if need be." (Math and Science back to Bahasa, mother tongues, The Star)

The government should already know the terrible English lecturers and teachers have in schools today. By establishing PPSMI, they increase the percentage of students failing, and confusing the lecturers more. Great. Then right now, they revert the entire education system again, causing one generation of students who had to go through the change and who had to be "white rats" suffer -- all for nothing!

If the lecturers in universities cannot teach proper English, how can the students a.k.a. teachers be good in their language skills? The government should know about the incapabilities of the lecturers and teachers in Malaysia, which clearly shows the negligence of the Education Minsiter and his department, and long ago, it should have brought in foreigners with strong English foundation and equip our bloody lecturers and teachers to have proper command of English instead of waiting until the abolishment of PPSMI is done and a realization of the terribleness of English in Malaysia!

This change is only a revertion to what the education system in Malaysia originally was. Students in general were already complacent with their limited knowledge of English, needless to say how 'well' they excel when they go for higher studies. When the change was made, at least students took more effort to learn up English so that they can at least pass in Mathematics and Science. Now that the system is being altered again and reverted to what it originally was, students will again fall back to that mindset -- oh, English, one subject only. Doesn't bother me.

Although I know that there are students from the government school who have rather perfectly sound English, but what is the percentage of students as such? Day in, day out, I meet with students who are struggling to learn how to even speak properly. They are unsure if saying "How have you been" is correct or not, or how to say "How are you" in English; aren't they the majority?

"Muhyiddin also said the lesson duration for English language would also be doubled for lower primary students to 120 minutes a week, while for upper primary it would be increased from 90 minutes to 120 minutes a week. For secondary students, the duration will be increased from 200 minutes to 280 minutes a week." (Government scraps teaching of maths and science in English, The Insider)

How would it help if the lectuers aren't already having proper English for God's sake! Increasing the time would be a wastage of effort. What more, Muhyiddin's statement that English literature and subjects on grammar and composition will be re-introduced will not in any way help! What is the government doing?! Can't they see the problem is not with the syllabus? It's with the teacher's incompetences and incapabilities?

For those home schoolers, do you know how teachers teach literature? They copy notes from a book printed by -- say, Kasturi or whatever publisher -- and ask students to go back and memorize! At least this is what all my students who are in secondary schools tell me. How on earth will students understand? How, then, does the government plan to re-introduce literature and grammar?

I have so much disappointment with this change until I don't know how to verbalize my disappointment. To those who don't understand why, it's okay. Perhaps it would help if you are constantly in touch with the education line, because you meet with students who want to learn but struggle so hard to learn how to speak and use proper simple English.

Another sound argument about this matter: Science and Maths to be Taught in BM Again

HAIH~~~

Fly

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Reborn and shivering
Spat out on new terrain
Unsure unconvincing
This faint and shaky hour

Do you hear me? Do you hear my cries? Do you see these tears as they burst from my eyes and flow down my skin, scratching my surface as they move? Do you see I hurt?

Wait.

Do you want to see that I am hurt?

Read the whole write up in Dreams and Heart.

Photography Assignment

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Did my photography assignments. They were really a huge challenge, I have to say. I had always wanted to try to do studio shots, but due to the money factor, I couldn't afford to have a studio. So I had to have a simulation of a studio.

Thanks to Phoebe. She's an amazing budding model. Also, thanks to Yen for helping and Su Li too.



I had to have a full body shot too. So Yen and I passed by this area in Old Town and saw that it was a nice place for photo shoot. So we decided to just go ahead and give it a try. I think the pictures turned out okay, but I still think if I had more equipment, perhaps I could do better. I don't know. But yeah, the below was the attempt. =)




p/s: Exam's really around the corner. Screwed up some assignments, but I guess it's better to focus on what's coming ahead than what happened. Yosh!

Waiting

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Dear you,

I received your letter. Your typed letter. I read through. Once, twice, and again. These words were the words I've been waiting to hear -- not read -- for very long. I wanted to know you care, I wanted to know if my messages meant a thing, I wanted to know if I was somebody to you.

Today I got my answer.



Dear you,

I received your text today. Your short text. You have said the same things over and over again, so much so that whenever you said you cared, I could never believe.

Sometimes I will not hear from you for days. But when you do show up, you tell me you have been thinking of me. But how do you think of a person and not want to be with the person when the person is right beside you?



Dear you,

Am I still somebody to you? I want to know.
Am I still worth something to you? I want what's true.

Your answer have once broken my heart. I suppose I am permitting another breakage. Maybe what I feel doesn't matter anymore. Maybe who I am doesn't matter anymore. Maybe reality doesn't matter anymore.

Maybe what matters is knowing I have let go something, because by doing so, someone else is happy.



Dear you,

I once believe in love. But I don't know if I still do. Let time mend my heart, for my faith is faltering now.

I long to hold your hands and draw you into my embrace. I long to know and be loved. But just like they say, life isn't always the way you want it to be. Because the more you want something, the easier it slips through your fingers.



Dear you,

I have waited.

I have been waiting.

I will still be waiting.

But know that my dusk is coming soon, and I am unsure where the birds will fly to. Tell me quick how your dawn is like, so that I may not see the moon's tears.


Love,
Me.