- Monday, April 02, 2007

March Review

It has been a roller-coasting month. Everything seemed to go up and down, just as you guessed. When I say everything, I literally mean everything. So just in case you feel curious, let me diction them to you.

Friendship was one of the most challenging things in my life for March. Funny that when I never sought to clash with certain people, they come clashing against me. On the positive side, I saw many of my weaknesses; negatively, I lose them as friends. But I don't think I ever cared having them as friends. I, at times, wonder why would I be altruistic, especially for this case. And then I found out because they were humans, weak as I, which was a good-enough reason for me to give more than I should. But when I re-think, I couldn't understand why, yet again, why I should be altruistic. Why should I?

As I hit the keyboard of the grand piano at my Piano Teacher's place, I'm once again reminded of the tales that once were horrifying yet pleasing to me. The notes seemed to float in thin air, disappearing after the pedals are released. The melody, melancholic as it sounded, weren't sad anymore. They seemed emotionless. Emotionless that I couldn't feel the zeal I once had for them. The harmony that once unified the whole song now fell apart, like a machine falling apart, it's screw and nutheads falling out of position, the huge hot metals clanging about; this is how I feel about music, if you could understand what I mean.

I question and question what was studies about. Education? Or a tool to get my way around other's back and stab them as hard as I could? Having a way of words, leaving others stunned and paralyzed after I start my debating?

Relationships, were they supposed to build me or destroy me?

I never seemed to find the answers; they seemed swallowed by the filthy earth, never to be found again. Then what is life for? A chance to love? A chance to forgive? A chance to learn? A chance to share? A chance to care?

What is life about?

What is life?

1 comment:

Suit Lin said...

For a fresh prespectives of things, sometimes they need to fall apart, to dissapear and reallign.

And as we grow, sometimes we see our perspective shift, out mindset altered, for better or for worse no one can say.

And it will never be comfortable.

But perhaps it is for us to understand the underlying core of our passion, why we love the things we love and cherish the people we cherish.

And that core, through years of rearrangement and tuning at the hands of God might teach us the single most important thing.

that core, I am sure we all know, inside of us, whether we are aware or not.

Maybe then life will be a chance to live.