- Thursday, September 27, 2007

Dear Pain, Goodbye

I'll Be Okay
by Jon Egan, Desperation Band

I will throw myself down at your feet
I will live all my life on my knees
You alone I'll run to
No one helps me like You

I'll be okay when I'm safe in your arms
And the hurts in this world fade away
I'll be okay with you
I'll be okay when it's You by my side
And the tears of this life wipe away
I'll be okay with you
I'll be okay

Jottings:
This poignant song reminds me of the past that shattered my confidence for quite some time. There were moments when the tunnel of fear never ends. No matter how quickly I pace about, no matter how loud I scream for salvation, help seems nowhere. I brush myself across the rough edges of the stones of the ground and rocks of the tunnel wall, I bruise myself by attempting to diminish the agony of pain by scratching and scraping my skin across the sharp edges of the walls, hoping that physical pain will shatter and crush all emotional pain.

Few things in this world never get quenched. They are fire, death, the grave and pain. No matter how much effort is put into trying to remove any one of them, more is what results in.

And each day as it goes by, I sit by and reflect on the days that've passed by. I cringe. I fear. I tense. I hug my feet close to my chest, trying to shield myself from darkness' light. Pain, how great art thou.

But then I found a treasure. At the first sight of it, pain diminished effortlessly. Strength regained instantaneously. Nothing could be more precious than this treasure. My tears dried up and evaporated to the sky, never to return to my face again. With them, my pain ascended the sky and condensed itself within the clouds, lost in the particles of condensing air. Gone, pain. Gone you are. May I be the first to bid you farewell.

Goodbye to you, goodbye to everything I knew.
Though I loved you, I now bid you farewell.
May all I ever knew go with you,
so that I might find again what it means to be well.

And in the presence of joy I might dwell.
Goodbye.

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