- Thursday, February 14, 2008

Living Life

The easiest thing about life is spelling it.

When Galriad mentioned this phrase in English class, this phrase somehow struck me. The cliche ones that I always use: life was never meant to be easy; or the ones that people always use: life is not a bed of roses, and life is not a smooth sailing journey; isn't this something new? Isn't this something fresh?

I find myself thinking about this, even when I have a thesis, which I have not finished half of it, to do up, musical practices to think about, articles to finish writing, people to interview...

I stopped and asked myself this: do I really want to do what I am doing now in the future?

Since December (or at least, forever), I have not had a holiday which I can forget everything and just enjoy myself. I have not had a time when I could catch up with people I cherish a lot. I cannot afford to waste time lazing around, screaming that I am bored. In fact, I cannot comprehend what it means to be bored. I cannot understand what it means to take things slow. I cannot understand, I just cannot understand, what it means to enjoy life by shaking your legs, looking at the sky, reminiscing about yesterday (although I do so once a while), gossiping about things under the sun... I just can't.

My family complains that I am too busy, taking up too many things, and spending time at home with my family members isn't possible. My friends complain that I do not have time to join them in movies and yam cha sessions. My closest friends have even stopped talking to me about things we used to talk to because I have grown into a busy person. Am I the one to blame?

I wonder which is more important: relationships or work?

If it is relationship, what about my work? I don't get to expand my wings and explore what I can or cannot do. I don't get to work on the strengths I have and improve the weaknesses I have. I don't get to see the world.

If it is work, I don't get to talk to my friends. I don't get to be like my other friends who always ask each other out for dinner or lunch or movies. I don't get to find time for people whom I love the most. I don't get to learn how to understand those who are close to me.

It is as if I am constantly pulled to and fro, indecisive between these two. Which should I choose?

A Chinese traditional belief says that work - or in other words, career - is important for a young man (like me), because it creates a pathway whereby he gets to expand his field and bring himself to professionalism. If he is successful, then, his parents will be proud of him.

But, the other Chinese traditional belief says that family is more important. Look at the advertisements in the TV during Chinese New Year. What do they say? Family first, work next.

So which belief to follow? Which guideline to take?

Perhaps in these moments of contemplating I find myself growing into a grown up, where I slowly learn that life is not just walking the path of life, but making decisions that will either break or build me. It is also a moment of self-seeking when I begin to understand more about my working method, social life, and so forth.

And perhaps, in the end, everything boils down to this question: What do you value the most? Work or relationship? Each has his own answer for this question, and each will have different reasons to their answer. But whatever the reasons are, make sure that you wouldn't look back at your life and regret that you have done what you did. Live life as if tomorrow is your last day on earth. Perhaps, that might help.


Suit Lin said...

I think those closest to you doesn't mean for you to make the pursuit of your dreams exclusive of them.

Hard as it is, sharing your dream with others will strengthen relationships that matters.

Maybe your loved ones are concerned not so much about you spending how much time with them, but how as one tends to be busy that they get further and further away from you and in the end find you gone.

It's possible to strike a balance, and a 5 minute stolen conversation with a friend is more than enough in hectic moments. For both sides.

For me, I just want to know that wherever you are, you'll be fulfilled with the people around you and what God wills you to do. and I trust you enough to know that you will allow me to be around you, you would never be too far away to remember me, just like I would do the same for you. =)

crys said...

nice quote at the beginning =)

jeannie said...

Work or relationship? Maybe it's neither both. Must we choose one? Couldn't it be a balance of both? It would be hard to keep it balance,yes, but it's not impossible if we tried...