- Monday, October 06, 2008

Does It Really Matter?



I was taken aback when my mother suddenly clutched my arm and asked me so randomly, "So, in your one year in college, found any girl you like?"

Not that I am complaining about my mother - I won't - she is just one of the few who never fails to surprise me with her random questions and responses. 

While I won't tell you what my answer was, because frankly speaking, I am almost always brutally honest with my mother when both of us talk as I find no apparent reason for saying a lie. After all, she won't be chasing me with a knife demanding to know what I mean; instead, she accepts my answers, although sometimes they may be overtly subtle.

Her question got me thinking. Does it really matter? Does it really matter for me to find a girl I fall helplessly in love with, until "my knees start shaking" (quoting Radhan, Gerard)?

I, of course, asked her this question, adding sentences to it, "It isn't that bad to be a bachelor right! Why not just let Peter do the job?"

Her reply was almost immediate, as if she needed no time to think through why I said such statements. "No." Blatant. 

She remained silent for two to three seconds, hoping her plain answer would sink into my coconut head, and continued, "It is a blessing to find one you love, and marriage is a very important stage in life."

I suppose so. 

To the questions, I couldn't give myself an answer, because deep down inside me, I know that I want hope to be able to find a girl I can pamper until she screams at me to stop doing so. (If you understand what I mean by pampering.)

She continued asking about the criteria I had for the girl I wished to have. Again, my plain honest answers left her silent for a moment or two, and she said what seemed like one of her favorite phrases, "Tastes change."

Again, I was taken aback. 

I found myself recalling a conversation with a friend who read my initial blog post about having kids in the future, to which she just shrug off and said, "Say it plainly. It's having sex." I smiled at the memory, and did so again as I recalled her saying, "Well, trust me. By the time you get to that stage and age, you'd only want two instead of five. And you might be surprised that your wife might object to the names you find yourself fond of."

To tell the truth, I've come to believe that I would be a bachelor although friends had impressed upon me that I am the "marrying type" and will certainly find a girl in the future. Even Paul's insistence that if I don't get a wife, he will make sure I get one; and his statement "I really want you to have a good wife you know..." at the end of our discussion about my being singleness add to what friends had been "screaming" at me: Relationship is possible for me. 

Yet, still, being a person who always needed mountainous assurance, I can't convince myself. I suppose time will determine what actually happens, and I shouldn't just convince myself what may turn out otherwise. 

So, yeah, what the heck. About me, I mean. 

Still, does it really matter? I mean, does finding a spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend really matter? 



Little shoutouts. 
p/s: I have an announcement: I am as jakun as Suit Lin. (Happy, Suit? XD)

p/p/s: I have a Maxis number now. If you want it, drop me a message or ask me personally, ya? =)

p/p/p/s: Jonathan Chung is LAME la. Go throw rotten eggs at him. 

p/p/p/p/s: I am procrastinating. Totally. Surprised? 

p/p/p/p/p/s: I kinda dislike the cliche: Behind every dark cloud is a silver lining. Come up with something new la! 

p/p/p/p/p/p/s: I still have not watched the Christina Aguilera DVD la, Shua. Lend me for a week more, okay? Pweeeeeese!

p/p/p/p/p/p/p/s: I think I am qualified enough to be a disciplinary teacher. The number of  "make sure's" I've used on Paul is overwhelming! ROFL. As if I am going to kill him. "Make sure you sleep early." "Make sure you drink enough water." I shall hence (for the moment) throw it into my vulgarity box, meaning: Only use it when desperate or necessary. XD Sigh, I am so long-winded. Huhu.

4 comments:

Crystal said...

you ARE the marrying type.

and well yeah, relationships aren't EVERYTHING, you will survive without one, the question isnt really whether it matters.

it's does it matter to you?

and do you trust that you will find the right one eventually if it does?

=)

PauLeonG said...

YEA!!! i agree with crystal! =) hehehe...now i got a someone to help me...

Think POSITIVELY!~~ rmb....

Kaun said...

hahah i can so imagine your mom with her straight face asking you xD

and her approach to asking you! "quick is the word and sharp is the action." cun wei!

haha.. pray la.. Come come I recommend a few books. since you got so much time to blog.

of course you know Joshua Harris la

but this one you sure not yet see:
http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Dating-Henry-Cloud/dp/0310200342

and one more: "Dumb Thing She does/Dumb thing He does"

you can get them at salvation. =)

Gerard said...

OmG!..=O...my Knees Start shAkiNG?...LOL...i DiNnt saY ThaT!..but..umm..i Did say...'WEAK' in The Knees ThouGh....*ahem...ehehehe...:P........well...ermm...good luCk with FinDing the So Called 'tRue'love thingy...
Hahaaha...Yeah..it DoesNt ReALLy MAtTer whEthEr U Find the "One"..on noT...COz itS Bound 2 HapPEN AnyWayS!![fingers Crossed!!..:P]...
Ahaha..and it Aint like a Now or neveR thing waAat...so...chiLL lar dei... sumDay u will Finally be LoVe sTRuCK!...LoL...juz try avoiding the lightnings along the way..ehehehehhe...cheers!..:)