- Saturday, December 27, 2008

Leaving Yesterday, Living Now



"You sigh too much."

My brother once told me that; and this statement caused me to pause for a moment and think about what he just said. I looked at him questioningly, and he repeated, "Kor (elder brother), you sigh too much these days. I can't even count how many times you sigh anymore. You just sigh too much."

I suppose what he said is true.

Just as I type this, I realize how this year had been for me: Hectic, nonstop working, or if you insist, crazy. Most of the times I rise up early at 7.00am, jump right into doing the first thing on my to-do list, and find myself crawling back to bed about 2.00 or 3.00am. Not that I am complaining; I love work and the feeling of accomplishing. It gives me this sense that I am improving and learning - and it tremendously satisfying. Yet, with the busy schedule I have (my brother once shrieked when he saw my timetable), there were so many little things I've ignored, things that I should've paid attention to.

That aside, I realize that many a times, in my busyness, it is immensely easy to react so quickly instead of sitting back, weighing the consequences each decision I make, and taking a pause to both scrutinize and appreciate everything that I do. I realize that for so many times, because of the product-oriented nature in me and the continual striving for achievement and success, I ignore people's feelings. I drive straight into getting things done instead of sitting down to listen to the grievances and the concerns of those working alongside me. And when things head the wrong direction, I sigh -- again and again -- wondering why plans went off course.

Then, this revelation hit me hard although I've heard of it and talked about it: live the present, live now.

Simply said, difficultly done; for living the present means taking baby steps in everything one is in the midst of doing, and taking notice of the little things happening about. Living the present means stopping once in a while, and look at the one next to you, giving him or her a pat at the shoulder, and telling that person, "You're doing a great job." Living the present means appreciating what is happening now, not yesterday.

Should I have done so, things might have been different. I might have been closer with those whom I work closely with. I might have learned how to smile more in the midst of pressure and unexpected circumstances. I might been a better worker in whatever and wherever I am working at and in. I might have accomplished more.

Just as this year creeps to an end, the so many times I could've lived the present has crept past me without my knowing. Yet, I wouldn't say that I regret for this mentality I have, because if I hadn't gone through this, I wouldn't have realized the importance of living the present, living now.

It's time to leave yesterday and live now. I will not say that my next year resolution will be learning how to leave yesterday and live now; it is a lesson I will learn today, a lesson I will start practising from today onwards.

It's time to hear, "Kor, you smile too much these days. I can't even count how many times you smile anymore. You just smile too much," from my brother's lips.

1 comment:

- DebBiE - said...

dont worry... i'm sure you CAN do it! have faith in urself! and practice it, sure u'll get it... practice makes perfect! ;)

jiayou! ;)