- Monday, February 23, 2009

It was then...

5 minutes ago, I was leaving from work. Just taught some kids English, taught this guy who was super interested in English literature... loved teaching that kid.

And just as I was leaving, I saw the boys I just taught running about in the parking lot. They were sweaty, smelly, but most importantly, happy.

They came over, looked at me and on their faces were big, generous smiles. They were kids. Kids who did not need to face the cruel world. Kids who knew not what it meant to be tired and tied down with tons of responsibilities. Kids who were innocent enough to just live in the present and not dwell in the past. Kids who enjoyed life for life itself.

Those were the days when I used to be like one of them.

I remember sitting by the window with stacks of papers. I drew almost everyday. And as I drew, I made up my own stories, and I told the stories to my sister as I drew them. My drawings were horrendous, but who cared at the moment? The most important thing to me back then was to tell the story to my eager sister and made sure she understood the story, which was perhaps why I drew it.

I remember running about at the field with many other guys. Barefooted. We ran after each other. Played "catch catch" or "ice and water". We screamed. We argued. We roared. Literally. And perhaps back then, the Malay word I used the most was "Jadi."

"Who jadi? Who jadi?" We used to ask.

"Oh! You jadi! RUUUUUUN!!!!! AAAAAAAH!!!" was the immediate response.

I remember racing with my bicycle with some guys. Competitive as always, I was the fastest. But I was also the fastest to fall and scrap my skin. The fastest to lose. The fastest to break into a wail. Both my legs were scarred. Deep cuts. Agonizing pain.

Ah. Those were the days. The days when I did not need to worry about anything. I'd happily play, without worrying about homework, without worrying about tomorrow's work... the list could go on.

Such innocence.

And now as I see them play, I can't help but envy them. I miss my childhood. At least just a small fraction of my care-less childhood. Bliss it was.

Maybe I should have some adult-ish games! Haha! I lack stamina. Can't jog continuously for more than 15 minutes. Must stop. Can't swim for a long time. Will get feet cramps. Can't play badminton as well as my brothers. Always get beat. Shit.

But who cares?

It isn't about winning, although it's partly about winning. But mostly, it's about having fun. It's been a long time then.

Ah. In fiftheen minutes, I gotta go work - again. But who cares. Maybe I should, too, be like them. Enjoy the present. Enjoy teaching. Enjoy looking into my students' eyes and smile and tease them. They like it anyway.

It's not about what I do, but how well I do them, and how much I enjoy doing what I am doing.

How do you survive in this hectic world, you ask? You survive by surviving. That's my answer.


ah^kam_koko' said...

Sometimes we can get too complicated, eh?
I wish I could go back to being a kid again too...

Jon Chu said...

Yeah... complicatedness does dull our lives at times. being simple is so beautiful, dont u think? =D