- Monday, June 15, 2009

Fallen in our own ways



FALLEN
Sarah McLachlan

Heaven bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight

Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I've held so dear.

I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Heaven bend to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turn their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
One slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...


Jottings:
We all have failed. Failed in our different ways. We tear, we regret, we condemn ourselves. We tell ourselves "If only", we scream in our own silent rooms with the heartaching words "If I were better", "If I were cleverer"... 

We ease our hearts by whispering the overused cliche "Behind every dark clouds is a silver lining", but how often have we used it, so much so that they don't comfort us anymore? 

Heaven bend to take our hands; we are alone, on our own to find answers to our long-asked questions, on our own to discover the tune of life that we might experience life and refuge from all our pains. 

We fear from telling everybody our fears and aches because we fear they might turn their faces from us or tell us, "I told you so." We fear that we might be lonelier, which is why we choose to endure the reality we consider better than the possibilities of being in more pain, more loneliness. 

We have fallen in our own ways, eaten our own poison, but what would life be without these hurts, these pains? Would we learn how to kiss our scars and accept ourselves? Would we learn how to appreciate ourselves? Would we understand the meaning of pain and bliss? 

Perhaps pain and hurts were for a greater purpose. Perhaps loneliness was to teach us the meaning of solitude, for loneliness is when you have no choice but to be alone and lonely while solitude is when you choose to be alone. 

Our perhaps are hypotheses to all the questions we have; some of which are never to be answered until we see the Love of Life. 

Are our scars meant for something greater? Are our fears meant just for preservation or something better? 

How much we have fallen. But are our fallenness accountable to anything? 

Maybe we were meant for loneliness?

1 comment:

glo said...

no we are not meant for loneliness :)