- Sunday, September 06, 2009

Idealism vs Realism

Behind every dark cloud is a silver lining.
I've always tried my best to not tell my friends the above cliche statement especially when they're going through tough times. To me, it's something not so personal anymore. Although I do believe in the power of quotes, I too believe that there are times when quotes are needless. What is needed is either our acceptance and silence or our sincerest words.

I read this quote at Hajok's blog and I realized how easy it is to just tell people that quote and forget that they are struggling. Instead of helping them or walking through the difficult times with them, we choose to say something nice and justify with our conscience that we've done something to help.

Of course, it's easier to say we care and to say the nicest things our ears have ever heard than to go through the pain, hardship and difficulty together with our friends. It's easier to memorize a quote than to sacrifice our time of fun and enjoyment for our friends' sake. It's easier to say something convenient than spend time with our friends.

If only we would think differently.

For me, those who have told me that they'll stand by me to the very end have not been around. Occasional "how are you" and "I miss you" do not mean standing by me. I think I'm so sick of those statements, so much so that whenever people tell me, I'll regard those statements as conversation fillers.

But yet again, how many of us are truly sincere, aye?

While my statement may sound very cynical, and perhaps I should try to make it sound as if everybody will be a good friend and everything will be good and easygoing for us, but I rather tell you the truth that the easiest thing about life is spelling it. Because the truth is, all of us (yours truly included) are always interested in ourselves first before others. We care about ourselves. We want to make sure we are stable and secure before we even consider being good to others.

So... what should we do?

Well, I think the easy answer to that is to think positively -- yet another popular concept. After all, they say all is perception. If you think it is, then it is. Hence, why not choose to see that silver lining behind all that dark clouds you see looming about you? Maybe that way, things may be better for all of us?

But yet again, if you try oh so hard to be positive, then wouldn't it be tiring?


ah^kam_koko' said...

No one person can be a 'true' friend to everybody that he knows.
I learned that a long time ago.

I choose to give my best to the ppl who are closest to me.
I'll help them out & be there with them through thick & thin.

For the ppl who I have only known for a short while & do not share much common ground with, I'll give encouragement & compliments but nothing more tangible than that.

I choose to appreciate those who have been there with me more than those who say encouraging things.
I give them back what they give me.
Actions for actions.
Words for words.

Then again, those who say encouraging things are still better than those who choose to sit back & observe quietly.

Jeannette Goon said...

When I ask people how they are, I really mean it. When I feel like people are asking me for the sake of asking, I say to them, "Are you asking because you really want to know? Or are you just asking?"

Sometimes it's hard to know the right thing to say when people are facing problems. I'm very awkward when it comes to these things.

Suit Lin said...

Whats wrong with a dark cloud anyway? Why is the silver lining the necessary good?

Maybe the worse thing that a human could do to himself is to believe what one guy say as bad to be bad. =)

All of us are self centered, most don't know how much because they have not been displaced far from their comfort zones. They don't understand that at the end of the day it's their ignorance and immunity towards such cynicism that makes them able to churn out words of concern.

At the end of the day, those who have truly suffered know and understood, survival is carnal, dirty, painful but very much self empowering. and is always meant to be a personal game to play. To make the mistake to expect true partnership from any human can be fatal.