- Sunday, September 06, 2009

Of Proposals

Have you ever thought of how you would like to propose to your girlfriend or how you would like your boyfriend to propose to you?

I have. Perhaps a many times. I think I lost count. And among that many times, this was another time when I did think about this matter. You see, Crystal, Chevonne, Jeannette, Jared and I were at Picadilly's eating dinner, catching up... And we somehow talked about this very... random topic.

We discussed how they'd like not to be proposed to, and I guess I discovered this: not many girls like to be proposed to publicly. They prefer something more discreet, something more... personal. They do not want to be pressured to say 'no'; they rather say 'yes' because they want to, sans pressure, sans the fear of making their boyfriends feeling rejected.

I even remember how Jeannette said that she does not want to wait for her boyfriend to sing a song and make her listen to it for say... 3 minutes. I also remember how Crystal clapped her hands and burst into laughter, while Chevonne did her classic Chevonne smile. But then, Jared interjected and said something along the lines of "If he really did do that, and that is because he loves you, wouldn't you take it with gladness too?"

So I end up thinking to myself if there is ever a perfect proposal -- one that is great for both you and your girlfriend. While no guy would be stupid enough to ask his girl how she'd like to be proposed to, asking her best friend how she'd like to be proposed to would be revealing his intention of proposing. Then how... personal is it?

Shouldn't the whole point of proposing to your girlfriend be a surprise to her and all your and her friends?


Jeannette Goon said...

I don't think it has to be a surprise. But it would be nice if it were really a surprise and it was done right. Coz it would mean that the guy really knows me. But I think better to be safe than sorry. Haha...I'd rather he ask my best friends than get it wrong. Then again, if I were really in love with him, maybe nothing he does could be "wrong".

Crystal said...

Yeah yeah I agree with Jean... There can be 'bad surprises' as well.

On a related note, say all you want about the 'motive behind the gift' counting more than the gift itself... But timing is everything. In the past, I've been given gifts that I thought were totally inappropriate and way too personal or expensive a gift considering how much I know the person. That is a total turn-off.

Yes, surprises are good. But not if they are completely the opposite of what the girl wants.

And asking the best friend is not impersonal. It is HIGHLY personal. There are certain areas in which a girl will always be closer to their best friend than even with their partner. Just as there are things we tell are partners that we don't tell any of our friends. A best friend is in a much better position to know what the girl wants in this area.

And (in most cases) the worst thing a guy can do is take advice from his other male friends. Guys IN A GROUP (note the emphasis; I am not writing men off k. I said IN A GROUP) don't tend to give good advice on winning a girl's heart. :P