- Monday, December 21, 2009

The Universal Language

There has been talk about love going on lately. At least in my circle of friends. In blogs, Eliza Lee, Joshua Anthony Hajok and many others talked about love, and today Crystal and I had somewhat a brief chat about love.

It's funny how we, Chinese especially, grow up in homes where parents do not express much affection to us, let us tell us 'I Love You'. Maybe it was due to how our parents were brought up: their parents always scolded them, humiliated them, told them they were stupid, good for nothing and useless, caned them with anything whenever they saw fit, and there was no such thing as abuse in those days! They were expected to remain silent always, because they were kids and kids' opinions were worthless.

We learn from example. Our parents did; they learned from their parents. And now, it's our turn to taste the experience our parents experienced. They hit us, they scold us, tell us that we are not worth it, or stupid... They restrict us and use the standards that were put on them on us.

However, to our parents, it was the way of parenthood. It was their way of showing love. They believe that as long as they could provide us with the basic necessary things we need everyday and with the finance we need to further our education, then that is love. But do we feel love?

Or is love the knowledge of knowing that our parents feel strongly about us?

If yes to the latter question, does that mean love is not a feeling? To us, youngsters, we associate love with a strong feeling which we often use metaphors such as "the sea", "the wind", "flowers", "mountains"... Oh, you know the drill. Well, of course, we do often say love is sex when we desperately need to release some... ugh, tensions, but seriously, we talk about love as if it were a strong feeling.

So if love is akin to knowledge, then what is this strong feeling we have? Just a crush? Wait. Let's just say a strong feeling we have whenever we see somebody is love, then what is a crush? A not-so-strong feeling?

Oh gee, this is confusing.

So what is love? Is it a rational thought (like knowledge that states: my parents love me because they provide for me) or is it a mere feeling (that states: my heart beats so quickly whenever I see this guy/girl)?

Food for thought, folks.


zewt said...

deep....deep... i was told about this book called "the language of love". never read it though but i understand that the love language we speak is one taught by us, or one which we long for. our parents want their parents to provide for them, cos during their time, that's not easy. to them, that's the language that they want their parents to speak... and when they finally can provide, they speak that love language.

we want something else, something more... and thus, we will speak a different love language.

ah^kam_koko' said...

I think that love is staying with you even when the going gets though.
Feelings & pleasures are optional.

So, YES your parents do love you.
The hot girl that once shared your bed does NOT.

Danielle said...

Love is an action. atleast, it is to me. It is not a feeling, not an emotion. Love is active. So, love is an active decision to put the other before myself, to give as well as to receive, to think of what is good for the other above what is good for me, love is everything 1 Cor 13:4 says.

Love is a choice.

When love is an action and a choice more than it is a feeling, then we would understand that there is no such thing as that-I- don't-have-the-'feeling'-for-you-anymore or as I=fell-out-of-love-with-you.

Hence, less break-ups and divorces.

Boon Dat said...

Hmmm love eh? It's an interesting topic.

Have you read my blog post about it? (2nd last post, the one with manga screenshots)
It's an interesting thought that not many people think of. It might change your perspective on what love really is. If you don't understand feel free to ask me about it. xD