- Saturday, February 13, 2010

Have You Ever Experienced? Ever Lived Life?


Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?
Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it
Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face
And said I just don't care?

It's only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn
The thunder before lightning, the breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?

It's only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table, the walk before the run
The breath before the kiss and the fear before the flames
Have you ever felt this way?

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

There you are, sitting in the garden
Clutching my coffee, calling me sugar
You called me sugar

Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself
Will it ever get better than tonight? Tonight.


There was this point of time in my life when I feared experiencing. To me, feeling something new was horrifying because I won't know what I'll be feeling and experiencing.

And that's why the future is so horrifying. You don't know what is coming. You don't have time to prepare your heart, yourself to face it. Things just come so suddenly, many times you can't dodge (and if you can, you're just lucky).

But as I begin to touch the surface of advertising, and as I was watching 2010's Annual Grammy Awards (Yes, pretty outdated eh?), I begin realizing that the fear I once had was... ridiculous.

Why should I fear the future - the bad things that may come by me? Why do I fear experiencing, even though the good and bad come in a package? Why do I prefer to sit in my comfort zone? What's wrong about the future, the bad, the misfortune?

If I continue fearing, unwilling to take out that first step to truly face myself and be bold to face the world, and mostly, myself, how can I grow as a person? How will I be able to soar?

That's what makes me different from the others. My experiences will differ from others, as well as my strengths and perspectives. And only by getting in touch with myself I can be a stronger, better person. Only by that, I can unlock the hidden talents and creativity within me.

Maybe because I haven't been learning much about myself, and loving myself enough to be my best friend and to understand myself... Maybe because of that I have so successfully locked myself up to what can be, what is, and who I can be.

I like what Joanne Soo once said - "I didn't step out of my comfort zone; I merely expanded it." And it's so true. Maybe by understanding and learning about myself I can step out of my comfort zone to expand my comfort zone.

Another quote once spoke to me (I forgotten who said it); it was somewhat along these lines: In order to be creative, in order to grow, in order to live, you cannot be in your comfort zone. You have to step out of it, then can life only mean something.

Maybe that's what I need exactly.

And I guess that's why I have to admit (as much as I hate admitting it) that Taylor Swift is good in what she does. She managed to write songs about her experiences that many could identify with. Yes, at first glance, it is very shallow (and I still think it is), but look deeper and one will find that these are personal experiences, stories, expressions.

And that's what we - artists, creators, writers, musicians - need. We need to be in tune with experiences and ourselves so that our stories, our experiences can speak forth to many, and touch many. As much as we live our separate lives, we have to admit that somehow our lives do affect others. The question is how do we affect others.

I will never be afraid of experiencing things anymore. One day, I will be able to sing with certainty to audiences, or write lyrics that weigh much because I've experienced what I wrote; I can ask "Have you ever..." without asking myself the same question.


Andrea Kong said...

There you go, one step foward =)

ah^kam_koko' said...

When you think about it...
Stepping out of your comfort zone is a step towards expanding or moving your comfort zone.

Well, I'm sure you wont have a problem when push comes to shove.
You'll rise up.