- Sunday, February 21, 2010

The Splitroad



Here comes the days when I sit back and wonder why I try so hard, why I give so much. I wonder if all I've done are worth something, if all I've given up for and if all I'm doing will mean something. If the mentality of giving nothing but the best and pushing for excellence are worth it.

Is it still worth it if I find myself at disagreement with others? Is it still worth it if others begin to have issues with me? Is it still worth it if I give my best and nobody sees it?

Yes, yes. I know that I shouldn't be working for others to notice that I am giving my best, but you can't blame a person to be understood, can you? If you give your all, your energy, your time, your heart and your soul and pour yourself out into doing something, and all people do is comment and stand against you, believing, insisting or complaining that you are not understanding, that you aren't caring enough, that you won't meet the mark planned... is it still worth it?

Or is it more worth it to sit back and count the stars as time fly by without anything being accomplished? Is it more worth it to keep friendships with naysayers?

My mind tells me that so is not worth it, because in the end all I get is nothing on my list of accomplishment. I won't get anyway, I won't acquire any skills, I won't be a stronger and better person.

But that is a lonely road. Nobody will see the road of hardship. Nobody (or maybe only a few) can understand the difficulty that you go through each day and night. There will be almost nobody to turn to when faced with problems, nobody to sit down with for you to pour your heart out. Who wants to be this lonely? That's what my heart tells me.

I'm looking at this split road and I wonder what should I be. Adventurous, purpose-driven, excellence-seeking; or laid back, taking life easy, seeking enjoyment, with many friends.

But if I do decide to walk the lonelier road, I know that although my heart will keep questioning if my decision, my mind would keep reminding me to see the larger picture - that one day, I may just be somebody who have lived life well.

It is also these times when I am reminded of friends who have never settled for the best. Crystal Cha, Jarod Kam, Lai Gene Lih, Jeannette Goon, Sarah Lim, Joanne Soo Liyeng, Lee Suit Lin, Michael Teoh, Bernie Quah, Tan Kee Aun, Pang Su Yen - you are an inspiration. Thank you for being so special.

You are a Linchpin. Please continue to stay so. This world needs people like you.

And so do I. To remind me of what is important.

3 comments:

ah^kam_koko' said...

WA! My name here big big!
It's 'Jarod Yong' la~~

Anyway, I just want to say that it's not true that ppl do not notice.
Only those who are trapped in a box are unable to see brilliance.
People who live, breathe & make brilliance will instantly notice it in someone else.

We work hard because we know that life is short & we want to constantly improve our imperfect selves.
Even if we die young, we die happy & fulfilled.
I'll pick that any day over old, bitter & resentful.

Suit Lin said...

I want to believe it's worth it and worth is how we place value in, each day a decision to say I'll stick by this because it's who I am, it's what I can do, I can do better, it's why I breath, to be better than what I was.

It is important to me. We tell ourselves that when our mind questions our intentions.

What's worth the price is always worth the fight. If there is no fight, there is no worth. =)

ct said...

Hey Jon, I may not know what exactly are you referring to but pls keep going.

A few months back, I've doubt myself. I wonder if this is the right job for me - am I cut out for it but you encouraged me.

So here I am, 8 months and still going strong. Along the way, I have gotten more nasty comments, under table methods and catty verbal fights for the sponsorships / projects that I've done. No doubt, there are moments when I feel like throwing the letter and just call it quits. Take a 2-week break, whine, cry, scream and do whatever my heart pleases.

But I have also realised that comments are comments, once said it disappears into thin air. What can prove people wrong are my results - that I've fulfilled more than my targets.

Difficult situations will allow you to shine through, you might be amazed at how much more you are capable of achieving.

Anyhows, I've seen that you've moved on to do Idea Rawstarrs at 95% so I guess all is well. chin up and keep movin'

Christine (azingazang.wordpress.com)