- Monday, August 23, 2010

Living as Zombies

"Death, is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside of us while we live." - Mark Twain

The greatest hell is living without purpose, expectations and love.

It's like coursing through life with no sense of direction. Everyday is lived without any enthusiasm, any reason to smile. Everything becomes mechanical and forced; nothing is authentic anymore.

Zombified - that's what I would call those who're living life like that.

Fully aware that living like zombies can occur to everyone, I shudder at the thought that I am not anywhere far from its grasp. I won't even want to begin imagining how painful it is to be living a life like that - shuffling your feet through life as time pass you by. No sunshine could bring a smile to lit your darkened face; no love song could revive your broken heart. Oh, how horrifying that sight is!

I don't need to live til 40 to know that I may have let certain parts of me die. I remember being coached by my boss about how I've let my heart somewhat die. Instead, I resort to being mechanical (which lends me strength in excelling at logistics) because I needn't feel. But after Idea Rawkstarrs, as I work in 95%, I realize that the heart is such an integral part of living. It's that part in us that yearns for unreasonable yet great things. It's what enables us to see visions and to dream big.

But our mind tells us to play safe, to not put ourselves out there because our mind knows that it feels more secure to be hidden in the dark than to hurt. We do not need to worry about people criticising us and gossiping about us. We need not worry about failing. Doesn't that sound like bliss?

Life like that would seem so much more boring and colorless. For only the ones who have truly lived are the ones who have made mistakes.

But aren't mistakes terrible? Don't they make us feel bad about ourselves? How do you live with that?

I guess that's the price of making mistakes; but what you gain from them is learning something new. You realize that this doesn't work, and in the future, you won't need to make the same mistakes.

Seth Godin once wrote, "Don't try harder. Try different." My trainers in Idea Rawkstarrs once said, "Insanity is doing the same over and over again while expecting different results."

Someone once told me that life is better lived when one learns things the hard way, because that way, one will be able to see the value of the lesson. Yes, it might hurt like hell; but the lesson will lie deep within one's heart - and that will make life even more beautiful and meaningful.

I guess what I'm trying to say is mistakes are bound to happen, but it's the attitude we have when we make them. We can't do the same thing over and over again when we keep getting the same results! That just doesn't make sense! Worse, we tell ourselves, "Never mind. I'll try harder!"

Try different instead - that's what I'll remind myself on and on.

With the fear of making mistakes clouding our hearts, it's so easy to numb our hearts, thus letting that integral and vital part of us die. We end up becoming so mechanical, going through the motions of life like zombies.

Instead, we should strive to always guide our hearts especially in the midst of failures. We need to tell ourselves to look at the brighter side not because it's better to do so, but because we want to protect our hearts from dying.

For when our hearts die, nothing seems to matter anymore. Nothing seems to carry any weight. Nothing seems to ignite our passions anymore. That's when we die.


ah^kam_koko' said...

When we start working & have established a routine, we can so easily slump into automatic zombie mode.

I'm well-aware of that & I'm taking constant steps to ensure that I'm constantly challenging myself & totally living on the edge.

Yes, even the boring life of a teacher can be interesting.
Just today I finished a video production of 2 months in 1 week. You can check it out later tonight on my blog.

Jon Chu said...

I saw the video, Jarod!
I like the fact that you involved the kids! It's awesome that they're involved in things like that. I understand that it's immensely easy for us, city peeps, to count orang aslis as illiterate and sometimes, stupid because they aren't tech-savvy, but no! You included them! I'm so glad for them to have someone like you! =) Now they know what it is like to be in a video production. =)

ah^kam_koko' said...

God put me here to enrich their lives.
I'm sweating blood every day to make sure that happens.