- Sunday, October 10, 2010

Winning vs Running

Easier said than done, I concur.

I realize that I go through this cycle -- I get so excited about a project, and I pour my whole heart into it with much hope that it will turn out to be awesome. But then, I'll somehow find myself faced with a huge problem. That's when I start questioning my ability. Can I do it? Or am I just kidding myself? Will this be added to all the failures that I have gone through?

That's when I start looking for a chicken exit. I give myself tons of excuses to make myself feel better. I start justifying my self-defeating thoughts, actions and behaviors. I start running, avoiding, wishing that the problem could be removed before me so that I can advance without any difficulty.

And I know that that is plain bullshit. There is no such thing as 'accomplishing something without any obstacles'. Only menial tasks get accomplished without any challenges.

But here's the truth : "You need to experience breakdowns before you can experience breakthroughs." - Illyaz, my colleague at 95% The Advertising Academy.

All the little breakdowns that seem overwhelming at the point of experience are necessary before I experience breakthroughs. I need to let myself go with the flow and experience it wholly, to the core of me, without letting my faith for a better tomorrow falter. I need to be okay with failing, because "failing is part of success" (also by Illyaz).

I'm right now so stuck with so many things in my life. I feel as if I need to take a breather to organize everything that I'm doing. But I'm aware that this feeling of dread, fear and breakdown are good, for I'll come out victorious.

I'll look for a way to win my battles, not a way out of it.

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