- Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Of Friends

My friend Andrea wrote about choosing to be a true friend. She wrote :-

I'm not looking for someone to just make me feel good about myself all the time. I'm ready to see the good and bad in me. I'm wanting to see what I can change and grow.

I don't need another person who's afraid to hurt my feelings for my own good. I need someone who is truthful and honest. You're not here to put me down, you're neither here to make me feel perfect, you're here to challenge me to be awesome.

You're not here to be better than me, friendship ain't a competition.

I don't want another friend to "be here" because it's convenient. I won't need another person who's too good to be true.

I thought that these few paragraphs resonated very much with me.

You see, I've been thinking lately about how much we pressure ourselves to be people whom those who consider friends would accept. We condition ourselves to act and be the way our friends want us to be. Ugh, even the thought of that irks be. Nausea.

Nope, I'm not being overdramatic. In fact, I think that is an understated reaction. Here's why :

I want a friend who considers me special. Like how my colleagues believe in the best of me, I want friends like that. I want a friend who sees my strengths and weaknesses and is not afraid of telling me off. I want a friend who finds honesty most honorable than sugar-coated words. I want a friend who would tell me to buzz off and be at my best than a friend who joins the BBC (bullshit buying club). I want a friend make a stand for me, especially when it's me who's sabotaging myself. 

I know it seems idealistic to have such demands on friendship, but life is too short to be wasted on people who find pleasure in talking and doing the unnecessary. I'd rather spend time with people who see the value in building themselves and me.

Plus, you know what they say -- if you're surrounded by people of a certain type, you'd most probably end up like them. With that said, I want to be surrounded by people who want to continually grow themselves, who dare to be honest with themselves even if they know that such honesty will hurt. I want to mix with people who don't buy my bullshit because that way, they can challenge me. Then, it will feel like time and life is not wasted.

With all that said, I shall be that kind of friend too. Someone who doesn't subscribe to the Bullshit Buying Club, someone who'd rather be honest and transparent with others, someone who sees the better in others but acknowledges that we're all human with weaknesses, someone who supports than destroy, someone who sees value in striving for the best and being the best.

I'd rather have a few true, good friends than a sea of friends who don't subscribe to BBC and spend their time doing the unnecessary that does no good to everyone.

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