- Sunday, February 13, 2011

Choosing to Live My Way

"Garion," she [Polgara] said very calmly, "the universe knew your name before that moon up there was spun out of the emptiness. Whole constellations have been waiting for you since the beginning of time."

"I didn't want them to, Aunt Pol."

"There are those of us who aren't given that option, Garion. There are things that have to be done and certain people who have to do them. It's as simple as that." Polgara said.

He smiled rather sadly at her flawless face and gently touched the snowy white lock at her brow. Then, for the last time in his life, he asked the question that had been on his lips since he was a tiny boy. "Why me, Aunt Pol? Why me?"

"Can you possibly think of anyone you'd trust to deal with these matters, Garion?"

-- Sorceress of Darshiva, Book Four of The Mallorean, David Eddings, pg 166-167

Why me? Like Garion, I've asked myself this question countless times too. If only I was... I'd continue describing how better life would be if I was like someone else.

But the thing is, I don't think I'm supposed to live my life like another person. I don't think I'm supposed to have the same story as another person. I don't think that it would be satisfying to know that I've lived a life like someone else. No, I don't, regardless how redundant the previous sentences were. I don't; not at all.

I was looping Do I Make You Proud by Taylor Hicks earlier on and these lyrics caught my attention :

I guess I've learned
To question is to grow...
I've learned to love
Myself in spite of me
And I've learned to walk
The road that I believe

This is what we dreamed about
But the only question with me now
Is do I make you proud?

I thought back about my life, and I realized that I had to go through what I had to not because God hated me, or God had no one else to rain these burdens on besides me; it's because only with these lessons, I can be who He wants me to be. I can be who I'm destined to be.

Like what Polgara said to Garion, "Can you possibly think of anyone else to deal with these matters?", my answer to this question will be like Garion's : No.

My life shouldn't be like someone else. Great that other people have found what works for them to live a _____(insert adjective)_____ life. Good for them. But as for me, I'm still like a toddler, walking this journey called 'Life' with eyes wide opened.

Up until now, ever since I had the freedom to make my choices, I've not regretted making most of them. Like not pursuing studies when the others are planning how to go overseas to study; like choosing to fill my Saturdays by teaching piano classes when I could be sleeping in or watching movies with my friends... They have made me a better person; they have enabled me to see the bigger picture in life, they have helped me see what I want for my life.

My life is mine, and I'll choose to live it the way I want, not like how someone else has lived his/her life.


ah^kam_koko' said...

Way to go!
As long as Jesus captains your ship, you'll be somewhere more awesome than if you carbon copied another person's life.

Crystal said...

And that's why you're awesome. ;) Copying is for boring people! And you're far too interesting and capable and smart for that.