Musings about a job

I thought I wanted the job, just because it was quite a prestigious company. Both my friend and I went for the interview. I didn't get it; my friend did. I was angry because if I got it, it would have proven that I still have it.

At least that was what I thought. Have 'what', I asked myself. The drive to work? The ability to project manage, write, be awesome...?

Then I realised, a skill, once attained, will never leave me. So why was I angry and unsatisfied? Why did I need to feel so?

I looked at how life turned within these two months and realised that God was somehow showing me that I had to go back to where I started and strengthen my foundation, skills and network. And then it struck me -- I was in the pioneering business.

I was here to start something because He has put a burden in my heart for young people for quite some time. Had I gotten the job, I would have been fulfilling the company's dream/vision; but now, I have the chance to shape my dream. I don't know how, but I know that's the way to go.

Now I don't feel angry or upset anymore. I see the bigger picture. I need not be unsure of my skills or of myself. I need not others' approval. I am where I need to be, and for that I am happy.

Here's to counting my blessings.